Both of us often get compliments about how awesome it is to be part of a BJJ couple. These range from never having to make excuses to go training or to a seminar, through to envy over our BJJ holidays, the lack of complaints about gi laundry or the fact that gi shopping can be indulged. But there are downsides which I thought I’d share/rant about! 😉Sparring / Rolling
Pete and Me do not roll together. I mentioned this in my blog last year on BJJ Relationships regarding how it always has the potential for tears, arguments or general divorce! I’ll be honest that still holds true. Although to be fair we do manage the occasional flow roll and positional sparring. But, I still think that if we were of equal size I’d so be better than him lol!
The worst part of this is dieting. I make weight fairly easily but the reality is males can eat more than females due to body mass and metabolism etc. I have to sit there after eating my calories for the day whilst he “struggles” to consume another 1000 or so more than me! Plus to make things worse he can just look at the scales and virtually lose weight whilst things are more challenging for me! Last but definitely not least there is nothing worth than two hungry (hangry) grapplers to make potential arguments over little domestic things so much worse!
I am always really happy when I get to compete before watching Pete. I simply get so nervous and wound-up watching his matches. It’s definitely worse than competing myself and just as tiring. I’ve been caught on the audio of his fights shouting instructions as well as much more offensive language! Plus during a competition, we are complete opposites with Pete essentially mediating/going to sleep for an hour or so before his match. This isn’t too bad when I have teammates to talk to etc but it did mean he actually missed my final at the world masters in 2016. Whilst I totally understand and he was in the pen during my medal ceremony not being able to get a hug from your husband after winning a world title wasn’t great!
Eating post comp with your hubby is fun. I’ll be honest as he doesn’t judge you for that chocolate, pizza or any other food you’re craving! The flipside is that post comp can be a minefield with your other half especially if one of you has had a bad day. Celebrating together or drowning your sorrow in carbohydrates are both ok. But wanting to party whilst your other half isn’t in the mood or vicer versa is tricky. You don’t want to upset them or spoil their celebration but there’s only so much calmness or fake smiling you can do in an evening!
General Plateaus and Progress
Last but not least everyone progress in their own way which leads to other challenges. Your other half going training whilst you’re sat on the sofa or doing injury rehab is painful. Hitting a plateau whilst your other half is progressing in comps or getting promoted also really hurts. I have to say this is where being at different gyms really does help in some respect as were working different techniques and games etc. Although it is satisfying going home and telling your hubby you’ve just learned a variation or defense of the technique he’s drilling like crazy! 🙂
Let’s be honest on reflection the downsides are overwhelmed by the positives. He may drive me insane but my hubby is still my hubby and partner in crime. Plus it’s a small price to pay for BJJ holidays, adventures and gi shopping!